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The Short Version:
Tim dropped to one knee and proposed to Kate at the base of Coit Tower while they were vacationing and visiting Tim’s family in San Francisco.
The Long Version:
(No joke. Kick your shoes off. Get a cup of tea. This sucker is looong.)
Her Story
My side of the story starts a few months before Tim proposed, maybe about March. We had had several long talks about things and had for a while said that we thought we were in it for the long haul. We had started to plan our trip to California to visit Tim’s family on the West coast and planning all the things we were going to do. As we were planning the thought that San Francisco would be a great place to get engaged slowly crept into my mind. I felt as though we had been spending holidays with our families together and our relationship was continually strengthening. If he felt it was the right time, then there would be no time like in San Francisco.
I tried to poke around and try and figure out if he was getting to be as ready to take that step as I was. I would ask him things about the future and he would always say, “well I would want my family to…” or “I would want my wife to..” or “my kids to…” He would never say, “I would want you to do … with our kids…” So I figured he wasn’t ready yet. Not wanting him to feel like I was rushing him, I backed off a bit. I talked to my mom and friends about it though (quite a bit).
It was probably about the middle of May when we went out to lunch one afternoon. We went to this fun Greek Restaurant that his parents suggested. While we were finishing up lunch we were talking about random things and Tim asked to see my class ring (which I used to wear on my left hand). He was very smooth about it all. He asked about it and put it on his finger and pushed it down and made a comment about the size. (I have small hands for as tall as I am). He was saying how much he liked the class ring and stuff and I got very excited (when I first received my class ring he didn’t like the idea of the college class ring). I told my mom I was thinking about getting him one for Christmas since he seemed to really like it. She laughed and asked me what hand I wore the ring on and then kinda gave me the, “Really Kate? You don’t know what he’s getting after here?” Once I spoke to her I called Jess. (She and her husband introduced us and both are very close friends of ours). I asked her if she had heard anything about Tim talking to Bree about an engagement. She said no, which even if she had she would have said no. So I told her if Bree was to talk to Tim about an engagement I wanted a princess cut or emerald cut stone. The setting, color of the band (yellow gold, white gold, platinum), carat size, and everything else was up to him.
I was getting to be pretty sure that he was going to do it in California while we were on vacation up until about two weeks before we went. I had been talking about it maybe happening and I decided to stop because trying to tell people it didn’t happen would be hard and I didn’t want to get my hopes up that it would happen and then it not happen and feel disappointed on the trip. I was afraid my attitude would change for the trip and I decided that the trip was about meeting his family and if nothing happened, then it would happen when it was right for us.
So I packed a few nice outfits and had myself pretty well convinced he wouldn’t do it on vacation but I was so excited to be going to California, I had kind of started to forget about it. The Thursday before we left I told him I was looking for dresses to wear to the weddings we had later in the summer. He offered to go with me and cleverly said that if I got one, I could wear it on vacation and then to the weddings and no one would have seen it yet and get multiple wears out of it. (very smooth I thought). He knew that I would have a nice dinner to wear it to, since he was planning one.
So we got to California on Saturday night and spent the evening talking to his uncle. Sunday we drove up and down the coast on Highway 1 and went to Monterey Bay. It was gorgeous (my word of the trip) and the scenery was like a postcard. I was sure as we drove around to these amazing landmarks and views that if he was going to do it, he would have done it then. (I figured once he had a ring it would burn a hole in his pocket and want to do it early in the trip).
When he didn’t do it Sunday, I woke up Monday morning to have breakfast with his Uncle and cousins and looking back there were several things different about that morning. First of all he did not rush me with my hair or make up or outfit choice. Usually he asks about how much longer or points out that we don’t know anybody out there besides his family. Secondly, when I picked out my outfit I went to iron it and he asked me to iron his shirt. Usually I have to ask him if I can please iron his shirt so it’s not wrinkly. I didn’t even think about asking to iron his shirt since we were going to go sightseeing all day. Lastly, he had me pack up everything I had back into my suitcases. (He told me he didn’t know if when we were finished sightseeing if we would stay at his uncle’s or go to visit his other aunt and uncle and cousins.)
Later that morning when we went to breakfast with his uncle and cousins, his cousin was asking us 20 questions. It was like the newlywed game. She asked about middle names, eye colors, what kind of shoes we had on that morning. All kinds of stuff. His uncle at one point looked at her and told her that he knew what she was thinking to not say anything and her face got red. (Apparently Tim’s cousins thought he already proposed and his uncle had to tell them to not say anything because Tim didn’t do it yet).
After breakfast we went back and got in the car and headed toward the city. We parked at the BART station and took the BART into the city. We drove around looking for parking spaces that we could park in for the entire day (24 hours)… this is important later. (Side Note: I was very impressed with Tim when we bought our tickets for the BART. He made sure we both bought the round trip tickets to Powell Street and back. (which in the end we both wouldn’t need but he had to make me think we would). We got out of the BART station at Powell Street and there’s something about walking out of an underground station and being right in the middle of everything in the downtown of a busy city.
Once we walked around for a few minutes we found the ticket place for the trolley. We were going to ride the trolley to Lombard Street. We found out the line for the trolley was over an hour long and decided we could walk. So we walked all the way up Powell Street and then all the way down Powell Street. We walked to Lombard Street and decided that we would walk towards the base of the crockedest street. Well we walked all the way up Lombard Street. (for those of you who don’t know… Lombard is nearly straight up and down at certain points.) We had lots of fun walking up to the top of Lombard and although we were sweaty… it was a beautiful thing to see!
All the way up and down Powell and Lombard street we saw Coit Tower and Tim kept going “there’s Coit Tower, we’re going there later.” And I kept going” Ok, great!” I had never really heard of Coit Tower and before we went to Lombard Street I even asked Tim if we should go to Coit Tower first and then Lombard because he seemed so excited to go to this place I had never heard about. He then insisted we go to Lombard Street first.
We stopped on the way back down Lombard Street and got a drink and we had packed some snacks and ate and decided to keep going towards Coit Tower (on the other side of Lombard Street). So we walked back towards Powell Street and then up the other side on Lombard. (By the way those hills in San Francisco are killer and I think the most common word there has to be “up”). We were almost at the top of the other side of Lombard Street by Coit Tower and when I asked Tim what was so great about Coit Tower. He said he wasn’t sure the history of it but he said some people say it’s a dedication to firefighters (for those who don’t know… my dad is a firefighter). I thought that’s pretty cool until I asked Tim what we were supposed to do at Coit Tower. Tim said we go up to the top and take pictures because it has a great view of the city and Bay Area. (I have a minor fear of heights and bridges… basically things that people can fall off of). So I stopped and asked him why he would take a person who was afraid of heights to the top of a tower! He was so cute. He got very patient and concerned and asked me what was wrong. I told him no big deal… let’s go, I would just stand back from the windows a good few feet.
He seemed to be walking faster and almost in a hurry as we approached and Tim is very seldom in a hurry. I told him to slow down because normally I’m the one in a hurry and the only thing we had to do that day was be at Pier 39 at 3pm to board the boat for Alcatraz. He slowed down and we walk up a wooded path (yes up again) towards the base of the tower. Once we walked up the wooded path there is a big area to take pictures of the city and the tower. There was a sign that said that Coit Tower’s base was a look out during the Gold Rush. The tower was a built as a memorial. The lady who donated the money to build the tower was a huge firefighter advocate because she was saved from a burning building. So it technically is a tower for the Gold Rush and firefighters.
So we took our pictures and then went inside to buy tickets to go up to the top. You buy the tickets in this little gift shop and then we had to wait in a long line (because apparently everyone wanted to go to Coit Tower that day). We went to the top and looked around, took some pictures and then headed towards the base again.
Once we were finished taking pictures at the base we started back down the wooded path we took to get up. It was neat because for such a public place I realized we were alone walking down the path. Tim looked behind us a few times and I realized he saw we were alone too. I was excited because I thought it would be a good time to tell him the mushy stuff I had wanted to tell him while we were on the trip. I had wanted to tell him how glad I was that we were taking the trip together and meeting his family and how I felt that this trip was bringing us closer together. Just when I was about to start to say something Tim stopped walking and turned me to face him.
I realized once he was down on one knee what was going on but pretty much up until then… I just thought we were having the mushy conversation that we never have. I started crying once he asked and said yes (of course!). We stood there and the entire time no one walked up and down the path until we were finished talking. Looking back it was like God helped us out and kept the moment intimate for us. We hugged and kissed and took pictures.
We called my parents and told them and then called his parents. Then we had to run for Pier 39 because he proposed at about 2:30 and by the time we called our parents we needed to board the boat for Alcatraz. We grabbed some Clam Chowder and ate while we were in line and looked like smiling fools the whole afternoon at prison. (which by the way… Alcatraz… really a neat place to see!) Once we were finished taking pictures and taking the audio tour of the cell house we called siblings and grandparents. It was hot and sunny so we went to go sit under a tree for shade while we talked on the phone to people. Then we got back in line to take the boat back to the pier and realized that Alcatraz (which means Bird island) is called that for a reason. We both got pooped on by birds. And I don’t mean a little bit… I mean I had four or five places on my shirt and my arms and Tim had it all down his back. We had talked about not knowing what we were going to do after we got done walking around Pier 39 so I suggested going back and changing out of bird poop clothes and having dinner with his uncle and celebrating!! Tim said that was fine since we both knew we would be coming back on Tuesday to do more sightseeing.
We started to walk up the back of Pier 39 and Tim hung up the phone saying, “okay Bob, we’ll see you in a few minutes.” I looked at him and said, “Who’s Bob and why are meeting up with him in a few minutes?” Tim then told me I had a few more surprises for the evening. We walked around back to the front of Pier 39 and there was a Lincoln Town Car waiting for us with the driver (Bob). I was so excited to not have to walk back to the train station it took me a minute to realize that Bob was driving us somewhere. Bob pulled the car into the Marriot downtown and when he opened the trunk our luggage was in it. We went in to check in and the desk clerk said we were in a high-rise suite! Once we got in Tim told me I had a little over an hour to get ready for dinner reservations. I hopped in the shower and Tim got dressed and went down to get directions from the hotel to the restaurant while I got ready.
I went into a frenzy and called my mom with my only dress options I ended up bringing! We decided on my black strapless dress with cherries and black heels. I was just finishing my make up when Tim returned and a few minutes later there was a knock on the door. Room service brought in a dozen long stem roses and my favorite wine (Beringer White Zinfandel). It was so romantic! (I know this is all so mushy!)
We walked across the square over to Fleur de Lys. We had a three course meal with the wine accompaniment for each course. For dessert we had authentic soufflés. The décor in the restaurant was beautiful and the lighting created an intimate setting. Our waitress was extremely patient and described everything we were eating to us. I wanted to get a picture and getting engaged was my ticket to everything that day so I flashed the ring and a smile and the waitress said it was no problem to take a picture for us. They then brought us out an extra dessert that said congratulation across the top of it!
We walked back to the hotel and the next morning Tim said we could go to breakfast and then I could pack up and get ready for the day while he went back to get the car from the BART station. Then we got to go shopping in downtown San Francisco!! Once Tim came back we parked the car and shopped and then drove over to the Full House house!! We went to the Golden Gate Bridge and everything. The rest of the trip was magical and seeing family and surprising them with our news was such a great feeling!!
I know this is long… but I didn’t want to forget any details and I wanted it to sound like I was telling you the story in person.
His Story
I’m not really sure there was ever a moment that I decided I wanted to ask Kate to marry me. It kind of just was a feeling that grew on me. I think I started seriously considering and doing some initial research into the topic probably around April or May of 2007. Two of my closest friends (Mike and Bree) had already asked their respective significant others to spend the rest of their lives with them, and were in the midst of planning a wedding. I decided it would smart to see if they had any words of advice on how I should approach the subject, as well as any ring shopping advice (as I had a total of zero experience in this area and really know squat about jewelry). I think I may have approached Mike first and even talked with him about finding out ring specifics a little earlier. His advice was to wait and once she’s starting to feel that you are ready and close to "asking the question" she’ll start dropping hints. My main concern in seeking out a ring purchase was specifics such as if there was a specific cut she wanted, a type of metal that was preferred, solitaire or multiple set, and finally ring size. I was able to squeeze out the fact that Kate preferred a solitaire diamond ring. I think I got this when we were discussing and looking at Julie and Jess’ rings. I knew finding out the ring size would be a big piece of information, so after a month or so of waiting and no hints I decided it was time to make a covert move and try to acquire this information.
Looking back, I could have gone about this in a much more subtle manor, We were driving back from somewhere one weekend, just the two of us, and I started talking about her Ohio State class ring. I figured if I posed interest in this she wouldn’t suspect anything (even though it was fitted for her ring finger). I don’t remember how the exact questions went down, but I still believe the way I worked the conversation I thought I was as smooth as silk. In the end I came out with her ring size, confident that I had not revealed my true intentions. Little did I know. I had asked Bree for ring information gathering advice, and he had little to offer as for in his situation, he asked Jess about ring stuff early in their relationship and ever since doing that she always had a eye out for a rock on a ring. One day a few weeks after my ring size sleuthing, I happened to be doing a bit of diamond research. An IM window popped up from Bree and his first sentence was "You screwed up". Apparently, Kate had gotten wise to why I was asking my questions and had told Jess about it who in turn had told Bree, who was now informing me that Kate knew something was up. I was somewhat frustrated with myself, but decided that she didn’t know for sure and couldn’t really set the time-table either. I used this new connection (Tim->Bree->Jess->Kate) to my advantage and decided to try and find out more diamond preferences. Over the course of a few conversations I was able to find out that Kate preferred a princess or emerald cut stone and not a brilliant cut. I’m glad I found this out because I was leaning towards purchasing a brilliant cut.
After a few weeks of research and finding the best vendor, cut, color, clarity, and million other specifics for my price, I finally made the purchase of the ring. This was now about the middle of June, and I had already decided earlier in the month that I wanted to propose while we were on vacation in San Francisco the week of the 4th of July. I had informed my Dad that I planned to do it during the trip and of some of the ideas I had for how it should go down, and he suggested that I mention it to his brother (Uncle Jim) and see if he has any suggestions for restaurants or locations. I started calling and emailing my Uncle with my plans and thoughts and we started forming a complete schedule for the day and events leading up to it. I personally had decided that I liked the idea of proposing at Coit Tower. No real rhyme or reason to the decision, just a somewhat secluded landmark that could always be pointed out in pictures or movies and we could return to in the future. I decided I would do it early in the trip a) because I’m sure the ring would be burning a hole in my pocket and b) I wanted to introduce Kate to my relatives that we would see later in the week as "my new finance". Kate and I had earmarked Monday the 2nd (the 3rd day of our trip) as a day to spend doing touristy stuff downtown. So this would be the day. I also wanted to do dinner at a nice restaurant that evening and my uncle suggested we stay at a Hotel downtown that night. We discussed a couple of options and I picked out the places I thought would be nicest. Then came the logistics of it all.
To make this a surprise, I would really have to work out some details so that Kate never caught on to anything I was planning. From her point of view, Monday we would head downtown and spend like tourists. We had listed out a few places we wanted to make sure to visit (Coit Tower being one of them) and even bought tickets for Alcatraz at 3:30. This was the first thing that began to put me on a schedule of events for the day. I would have to get her to Coit Tower and propose before 3:00 because after Alcatraz we’d need to get to the hotel and then dinner, and I couldn’t get away with a proposal at a prison facility no matter how much she loved me. Next, I had been telling her that we’d probably just come back to my Uncle’s house to spend Monday night. But we would need our bags at the hotel so that we could get cleaned up and changed into something nicer for the restaurant, and then also leave the next day since we’d be staying downtown. I ended up telling her that we might be going to a different relatives’ house Monday night, so have your bag packed at Uncle Jim’s just in case we come back and need to leave quickly. There was a still a big issue of transportation that needed to be fixed. How was I going to get the bags to the hotel without her figuring it out? Uncle Jim generously offered his driver to pickup the bags from his place while we were out during the day, and then even have the driver pick us up after Alcatraz and take us to the hotel. This worked out perfectly, as I just left our car outside the city at a BART station that allowed for 24 hour parking and we could just pick it up the next morning.
Monday’s events set into motion and I confirmed everything and the reservations with my uncle in the morning while Kate was in the shower. Our bags were nearly completely packed, and we took off for downtown. Once we arrived in downtown SF, some small things started to go wrong. I had spent a little while planning on our course around the city which would eventually lead us to Coit Tower just before our Alcatraz cruise. When we got off Bart, our plan was to take a Trolley closer to Lombard street and then walk from there to Coit. Unfortunately there was about an hour wait for the trolley, and due to an extended breakfast with my cousins that morning, we were already short on time. Kate suggested that we just walk it, which I agreed to hesitantly. My main concern wasn’t that we wouldn’t’ be able to walk this hilly city, it was that I knew she would not appreciate getting proposed to while drenched in sweat.
So we headed off. We walked all the way up and then back down Nob Hill, and ended up on Lombard Street half way between the crooked section and Coit Tower, which are about a mile apart. We decided to walk to the crooked section of Lombard Street which is a nearly vertical hike. Once we got to the top of it, we could see Coit Tower off in the distance and I realized how far away it was. But I had made up my mind, so after many pictures we headed across the city. Once we arrived at the tower I started assessing the area for how I wanted the proposal to go down. I had always thought where I wanted to do it was at the top of the tower, while overlooking the city. As we waited in line I started to get a little anxious and quiet, thinking about what I was about to do. We rode up in a crowded elevator to the top and once we go off, I was reminded how tiny the observation area of the tower is. I was suddenly struck with the feeling that this wasn’t very intimate at all. There were about 15-20 people in the space probably the size of a master bedroom, and there was no real area to go off by yourself. Now I didn’t have a problem proposing in front of a bunch of people, I just didn’t know if Kate would be comfortable with her emotions going. There were a few times I got really close when the numbers got down to just a dozen or so, but eventually I decided not to do it up there. I immediately got worried because I didn’t know where I was going to do it then, because we would be immediately heading for Alcatraz next and then would be heading to the hotel after that. Once we got to the bottom I didn’t see anywhere that stuck out to me. Then I remembered the path we walked up was somewhat secluded when we got there. We started heading down that way and sure enough, no one was around. I pulled her aside half way down, told her a bunch of lovey dubby stuff that I had thought out before but came out no where near sounding what I had planned, and then dropped to one knee and took out the ring.
After some tears, hugs and kisses we quickly called our parents (oh yea I did ask Kate’s dad for permission before the trip so they knew to expect this call) and then headed towards the wharf. The next part of my plan was to sync up with Uncle Jim’s driver (Bob) but I really wanted to make it a complete surprise to where he would be waiting for us right when we got off the boat. Earlier that morning we had estimated around 5:30 that I would be getting back from The Rock, but when I realized it would be later than that I gave him a call while Kate was preoccupied with the audio tour and let him know we’d be later and that I’d try to give him a few minutes heads up for when to come get us. We got back to shore around 6 and then went to down to Pier 39 to check out the scene for a bit. When we had decided to make our way back to Uncle Jim’s, I gave Bob a quick call and told him to meet us just off the street in 2 minutes. Kate heard that phone conversation and was very confused. I told her more surprises were in store. Bob pulled up in his nice car and got out to let us in. We took off for the city, and I think Kate was so overjoyed with not having to walk all the way back and confused from what was going on that she barely realized when we pulled into the Marriott downtown. Bob had come through, and all our bags were packed up nicely in the trunk. We got checked into our suite and I informed Kate that we had dinner reservations at 8:00 so to hurry and get cleaned up.
A day or so before I had called the hotel room service and asked that they have some roses and wine in the room when we arrived (which they were not) but 20-30 minutes after we had gotten our room, a knock was at the door and all was well. We headed out into the city and had a wonderful dinner at Fleur De Lys ( a fancy 4 course French restaurant). The day went off without a hitch, and the car was still waiting for me to pick it up the next morning at the BART station.
Pictures from the Trip
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